Points2Ponder

POINTS TO PONDER

One of the great things about the internet is that it gives you a platform to write anything you want. One of the scary things about it is that it gives you a platform to write anything you want. As such, it will give you words of encouragement and hope, inspiration and knowledge, fear and loathing, ignorance and presumption, and everything in between. It can teach you how to love and how to hate. It can help you learn how to care deeply for others and will give you the recipe for making your own bombs. In other words, it runs the gamut of human emotions and potential, both good and bad, which is what makes it both a tool for great good as well as one for great evil.

I prefer to use it as a tool for good (or, at least now and then, a good laugh.) I know much of the material I present on my web site is a little on the serious or even "heavy" side, so this is my opportunity to lighten up the mood a little and give myself a place to play with ideas, make observations about life, post favorite sayings, and generally have fun. This is also a somewhat interactive page in that it let's you, the reader, submit your own ideas for possible inclusion. Generally I will post only those I consider uplifting, encouraging, or otherwise pithy, so I don't promise to post what you send me (though I do promise to read them all, and if I chose not to add your point, position, observation, etc to the mix, I'll explain why.) Hopefully, in looking over this stuff you'll get a "feel" for the kind of material I'm looking for (oh, and no pictures, please.) Feel free to send me your additions to my list or make a comment about what I've written by clicking on the E-mail button above. I promise to do my best to respond to every post. Enjoy!

If I had my life to live over, I'd do everything the same but leave out the commercials.
There are three types of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
It's frequently better to make the wrong decision than to make no decision at all. At least with the former you're living; with the latter you're just existing.
Shouting "God is Great" while flying an airliner into a building renders your God anything but.
Religion does not make a person evil, but it will justify the evil they were going to do anyway.
If you believe mankind is inherently evil, you will find examples that will prove your point. If you believe mankind is inherently good, you will find examples to support that position as well. It is in which examples you choose to look for that makes the best statement about what sort of person you are.
I have no trouble understanding why people become atheists. I just don't understand how they can stay atheists.
The point of reincarnation is not to learn, but to experience the consequences of the things you neglected to learn in your last life.
Live each day as if you are going to be here forever as well as if it's your last day on Earth.
Attention all martyrs: trying to keep 75 virgins happy is its own punishment.
Remember that bullies are the most frightened people in the world.
God is more of a verb than a noun. Think about that.
Don't be afraid to be human. Also, don't be afraid to be divine.
If we're not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
Writer's Rule #48: Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
As you believe you are, so you are. As you believe you are not, so you are not.
People who don't know what they believe really believe in nothing. How could it be otherwise?
Live the sort of life that would make your kids proud of you.
Remember that nobody is free as long as anyone is enslaved.
Your religion is a reflection of what's already inside you; if compassion, you will find a faith that stresses service and forgiveness; if judgment, you will be attracted to religions that stress justice and punishment; if boredom, you will be a Presbyterian.
Our job is not to compare ourselves to others, but to compare ourselves to ourselves. That's the only way we can truly gauge where we are, where we're going, and what we need to stop doing to get there.
As long as I'm on this planet anyway, I might as well leave it a better place than I found it.
You can always find a reason to be offended if you try hard enough.
It is my observation that approximately five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Live for today for there's no where else we can live; tomorrow is just a fantasy and yesterday is a memory. Now is all there is.
It takes more energy to believe that something bad is going to happen than it does to believe something good will happen.
If you really want to know how kind, compassionate and loving a person is, just mention George W. Bush and see what happens. Politics tends to define people better than any other thing.
Heaven is on Earth. So is Hell. Pick where you want to live.
Remember, even Buddha got the blues.
Learn to laugh at yourself so you can beat others to the punch.
Writer's Rule #19: Avoid cliches like the plague.
Every selfish, arrogant, or evil act you commit is a denial of your inherent divinity. Every act of kindness, compassion and love is evidence of it.
If you don't believe your life affects others, try having a fender bender on the freeway during rush hour and see how many people's lives you impact.
In order to change your external circumstances, you must first change your internal attitudes. It never works the other way around. (In other words, learn how to be happy before you win the lottery.)
Always insist on substance over form.* (*Does not apply to Hollywood, New York City, or Washington D.C.)
What's the difference between religion and spirituality? Religion tries to answer all your questions while spirituality teaches you to question all your answers.
In America, we only celebrate successful authors. In France, they celebrate all authors. In England, they don't celebrate any authors. In Australia, it is necessary to explain what an author is (just kiddin'! I love the Aussies.)
It's my contention that 95% of the problems in the world are caused by 5% of the people in the world. Further, it is my observation that only a tiny fraction of either group is capable of properly merging onto the freeway.
As I grow older I find myself liking people individually more and more and collectively less and less.
Angry people cannot create a peaceful world.
Sex is the only aspect of human nature for which one is criticized for being good at and honored for being inexperienced.
My take on politics? Conservatives infuriate me and liberals scare me so I just write myself in on every ballot.
Notice that the word politics can be found in the dictionary between poison and pontificate. Curious.
Definition of a Presidential Election: An event that occurs each leap year in which 49% of the population is taken hostage by 51% of the population (and held against their will for a minimum of four years).
Politics \poly - ticks\ noun: many bloodsuckers. (Contributed by spookums@earthlink.net. Thanks)
The Laws Of Life (thanks to Rob McConnell of X-Zone fame):
- Law of the Workshop; Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
- Law of Probability; The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
- Law of the Telephone; If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
- Law of the Alibi; If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
- Law of the Bath; When a body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will automatically ring.
- Law of Close Encounters; The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
- Law of the Result; When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
- Law of Biomechanics; The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
- Law of the Theater; At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
- Murphy's Law of Lockers; If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
- Law of Logical Argument; Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
- Brown's Law; If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
- Wilson's Law; As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
- Doctors' Law; If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

"Zen Truths" by Stephen Yulish

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

46. Famous Last Words (published in the April 2002 Edition of the ‘X’ Chronicles Newspaper)

I’ll get a world record for this.
Don’t be so superstitious.
It’s fireproof.
He’s probably just hibernating.
I’m making a citizen’s arrest.
So, you’re a cannibal?
It’s probably just a rash.
The odds of that happening have to be a million-to-one.
Pull the pin and count to what?
I wonder where the mother bear is?
I’ve seen this done on TV.
These are the good kind of mushrooms.
I’ll hold it and you light the fuse.
Funny, you look just like Charles Manson.
Rat poison only kills rats.
It can’t possibly rain for forty days and forty nights.
This doesn’t taste right.
I can make this light before it changes.
Nice doggie.
I can do that with my eyes closed.
Well, we’ve made it this far.
That’s odd!

TOP | ODDS N' ENDS PAGE | HOME